Monday, January 1, 2018

2017 Year In TV: The Ten Worst Programs on TV

Even though we are living in a television Golden Age, that doesn't mean crap isn't still being made. No matter how good something is, and no matter how many years of continued success a medium has, not everything can be winners. Not every movie I see is a winner, not every book I read is a winner, not every dish I order at a restaurant becomes a new favorite. If you missed any or all of these programs that stunk up your small screens this year, then consider yourself lucky. When people refer to television sets as idiot boxes, these are the types of programs that live up to that nickname.

10. Survivor: Game Changers (CBS)
I've been a fan of "Survivor" since I was in fifth grade, and with every show, it has great seasons and bad seasons. I suffered through the disgusting Colton in "Survivor: One World," the needless "Survivor: South Pacific" and the clearly gerry-rigged "Survivor: Redemption Island." But through it all, I never thought of putting a season of bad Survivor on a Worst TV list, until now. And yes, I am purposefully leaving "Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers" off this list, since it was a great season until the finale. First of all, more than half the cast could never be considered a "game changer," so why call the season that? There is a specific type of character expected in a season called "Game Changers," and barely any of them counted. Second of all, all the immunity idols, stupid twists and freebies completely ruined not only people's games who weren't targeted for elimination, but the integrity of the show. The show has always been about outwitting, outplaying and outlasting the contestants, having to manage personalities the right way for the million. You should never win due to having so many freebies that push you to the end. If "Survivor" keeps this advantage overload going, it will never get to season 40.

9. Big Little Lies (HBO)
Nope. Don't even start arguing with me. "Big Little Lies" swiftly gets the most overrated show on TV reward. I don't care if its getting award attention and critics are throwing themselves at it. Doesn't change the fact that its a scripted "Real Housewives" show, just with popular actresses. Do you think those reality shows are stupid? Yeah? Well, wait until you get a load of these stuck-up women with man issues. Throw in a low-rent, tedious "mystery" for the girls to focus on, and you've got a stomach-churning mess. And for the love of God Hollywood, can you stop making Shailene Woodley a thing? She sucks at acting. Period.

8. Six (History)
There are lots of new military shows on TV. If any new military shows on the horizon try to model themselves after "Six," not only is it a grave mistake, but it's a total miscalculation. This is a boring, lifeless story of military men. There is no drama, no emotion, and certainly no thrills. Each actor and each storyline runs through every military cliche in the book, they might as well be singing karaoke at a bar downtown. I guess its too much to ask to get us to care about the characters. Just make a show with military in it, and that's all that's needed.

7. Powerless (NBC)
This show kind of breaks my heart. I really like the idea of a drama or comedy on TV about people reacting to a world with superheroes in it. That's a cool concept for a story is how do the little men and women of the world react knowing that aliens, monsters and metahumans live among us? There is potential to that idea. So NBC's offering of the idea (playing in the DC universe of all places) makes all the wrong decisions, leaving the show as a one-hit loser. There is nothing funny, nothing memorable and nothing clever or exciting about any episode I saw. It was a perfect example of what happens when someone tries way too hard. They squandered their good idea at every turn.

6. Gotham (Fox)
Speaking of DC properties, I have hope watched Fox's prequel to Batman and I have tried harder than hell to get into it. But after four seasons, I am throwing in the towel. I can stomach any more of this show and I will never be watching it again. Each season of this sad excuse for a Batman prequel has tried my patience at every turn. But when they butchered and butchered and butchered these classic characters, and then put a SJW spin on some of them in season four, that was it more me. This is a perfect example where source material is thrown out the window due to ego, and appeasing a crowd still butthurt over the 2016 election. There are already great untold stories of how these characters came to be, why waste time on stupid fan-fiction?

5. Wisdom of the Crowd (CBS)
The idea that bad things will happen to humanity in the future through social media is actually an idea that is wearing out its welcome. So to turn that idea into a digital "Law & Order" doesn't seem clever or imaginative. It doesn't matter to me if Jeremy Piven is acting his ass off here, the show does hold the convictions of its ideas, it falls flat with each episode and never is as exciting as the premise promises it to be.

4. The Good Doctor (ABC)
So, Freddie Highmore is up for a Golden Globe because of his "work" on this show. I was left wondering if the people in charge of these awards actually watch the shows they are nominating. Freddie Highmore should win an award for portraying the most annoying television character of the year, giving such a terribly distracting and uninspired performance, that its actually cringe-worthy to reflect upon how good Highmore was on "Bates Hotel." My oh my how the mighty have fallen.

3. The Orville (Fox)
I am a huge Seth McFarlane fan, and I was excited by the idea that he would make his own Star Trek parody. Then I began watching the show and I was perplexed by the entire endeavor. First of all, was "The Orville" supposed to be a comedy? Because I would have expected a comedy from McFarlane, but I never once laughed. Not even a little bit. Second of all, was the show going to just be a shameless rip-off of Star Trek? Because the show goes out of its way to throw its SJW agenda in the audience's face. If you can imagine McFarlane throwing every single horrible Star Trek episode in one show, that's "The Orville."

2. The Inhumans (ABC)

Yep, Marvel and Disney its true, you screwed the pooch on this one. Perhaps I should back-track, I think there was potential in the idea of "The Inhumans" being a TV show. But giving your actors horrible scripts to read, giving them costumes that made it look like their show was being made in the early 1990's and creating absolutely no adventurous atmosphere whatsoever...its pretty clear why this show bombed. Look, just because your Marvel, doesn't mean you can just throw stuff around and people will embrace it. It's important to make an effort on everything your making, no matter the platform.

1. Emerald City (NBC)
There's already a couple shows about "fairy tale characters in the real world" that its enough to make the field feel over-saturated. You really got to stand out if you are going to make it with this gimmick. NBC failed, miserably.

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