Thursday, April 7, 2016

#Horror Review

#Horror Review
After all the found footage and torture porn, we have arrived to it at last in the pantheon of horror films. The tweenie horror film. I don't know what I was expecting when I sat down to watch "#Horror." But now looking at it in retrospect, I guess I should not have been surprised. "#Horror" is a movie for entitled teens who are addicted to their cell phones and social media. Its a movie about them, and for a great deal of its running time, it focuses on a group of stuck-up, girls who are apart of some social media game that instigates cyberbullying. One night, they are all together and they slowly get killed one by one. The thing is, the killings are at the very end of the movie. As in the last few minutes. The movie before is an excruciating annoying sludge of movie, that feels more like an endurance test rather than entertainment.

I don't mean it features content similar to "The Human Centipede" or "Cannibal Holocaust." I mean its a vile journey of a movie. Not on a gore or physical level, on a character development level. This cyberbullying game we see the girls play is preposterous and its style in which is presented is an assault on all five of your senses. There are stretches, long, overdrawn stretches of movie where we see these girls play this game, as in ridiculing each other is somehow cool. Then we see them go right back to being friends, well not all of them. Someone apparently crosses the line and gets kicked out of the party. Even though it makes zero sense. The girls have been so horrible to each other that I don't see how there is a line in the first place. Especially since the girls say the exact same insults to the same girls later in the movie.

I am sure hardcore horror fans are saying "Well, horror movies have been a comment against destructive behavior since the beginning of the genre. This is just a comment on cyberbullying." Nope. No, its not. Maybe it wanted to be, but how is it saying that cyberbullying is bad? Because the girls are so extreme? This isn't a case of a killer lurking in the shadows killing after an appalling example of bullying happens, this is literally an hour and fifteen minutes of horrible girls doing horrible things to each other, then the killings start as if they are some kind of after-thought. There is no deeper meaning to this, its all surface value. 

Timothy Hutton and Chloe Sevigny are in this, but I haven't a clue why. I can't tell how they couldn't smell the stink of this screenplay before their agents plopped it into their laps. But I guess everybody needs to eat. Their roles are so hammy that they hardly feel like characters. The girls are so bad in this that I honestly don't feel like wasting time looking up their names. They should wear that as a badge of honor. I don't see  how any of them will ever appear in another motion picture ever.

I am sure the teenage crowd will discover this and think its edgy and cool. But there is nothing cool about this. The only redeeming quality this movie has is a scene with the song "Doses and Mimosas" by Cherub playing. But when the best part of a horror movie is a thirty second clip of a song, something has gone horribly wrong.

FINAL GRADE: D-

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